NIGERIA ON THE THAMES

Hama Tuma

Mention corruption and every British MP will exhibit disgust and condemn African regimes with special diatribe being directed at Nigeria. Say corruption and most Africans would point accusatory fingers at their own regimes and blame Britain and the West for abetting in the fleecing of Africa. The tendency to label all viruses as African and even to declare every heat wave the same is quite common and widespread but one can say confidently that corruption is as British as fish and chips and as Western as colonialism.

Nigeria on the Thames. The speaker of the pompous British Parliament, Michael Martin, had to resign– a first since 1695. The resignation was spurred by the illegal practice of British MPs using expense accounts for private purposes ranging from purchase of horse manure and porn films to house renovation even for ducks, for purchase of dog food, bath robes, for rug cleaning, and things such as chandeliers and tennis court repairs. Both Labor and Conservative MPs are involved in the expense scandal that ranged from 125,000 pounds for house repair up to 5 pounds for church contribution. It could be called the “Africanization” of the British parliament and those uppity British MPs can now eat their shame and apologize to Africa since the scandal has reddened their white faces for the entire world to see. Corruption is international but its African variety owes much to the coaching of the West. Dambisa Mayo’s popular book Dead Aid has exposed the negative role of the so called Aid but the African corruption linked to Aid Money is sponsored by the donors themselves. If Omar Bongo was corrupt his partners are the French oil companies. If Idris Deby of Chad, Kabila jr of the Congo, Nguema of Equatorial Guinea, Ngueso of Brazzaville and even the militia bosses in Eastern Congo are epitomes of corruption their sponsors are the Western oil and mineral companies. Meles Zenawi in Ethiopia and his wife and family have robbed the country blind with the West giving him more aid money to embezzle. Most African tyrants embezzle aid money but most of the aid money somehow goes back to the donors or to NGOs established and operated by their nationals. The British scandal only goes to prove that corruption is very much Western.

The British Establishment has been quick to come to its own rescue. “It highlights Britain’s high moral compass”(that the scandal has been exposed) wrote one newspaper. Another comment gloated: “The British public’s reaction of shock and disgust betrays a healthy sense of injustice that is unjaded by constant governmental abuses”. The sotto voce of this says “compare with Africa where the natives are so used to widespread corruption that they utter no protest”. Self congratulation par excellence. The Independent noted: “The underlying reality is that British politics is, by international standards, remarkably clean” without specifying which international standards and “who’s clean” it is referring to. Some others referred to Nigeria and the “massive corruption” there in contrast to “the insignificant” British one. Other papers cautioned the public to realize that no one was arrested or subjected to violence in Britain for the scandal while had it been in Nigeria or Siri Lanka all hell would have broken loose. In other words admitting that Africans and Asians do not keep silent in the face of corruption and sometimes the reprisal can be very violent indeed. The crux of the matter that could not be covered up remains the fact that cleaner than thou British MPs have sunk so low as to cheat the public and misuse the public money. Robinson or Abayomi, corruption is corruption, a swindler is a swindler and if African feels vindicated it is not to justify the corruption on its soil but to enjoy redress from the hypocrites in London and other Western capitals.
In fact, one Western expert, John Christenson, Director of the Tax Justice Network, boldly stated “I would place the United Kingdom high on the list of most corrupt countries”. Transparency International has been criticized for perpetuating the stereotype (“Third World countries are the most corrupt”) while the countries it praises as least corrupt are full blown off shore tax havens. President Obama preached in Accra against the corruption of African leaders as if Western governments and corporations were the holy ark of morality while in reality the USA and the UK (along with Switzerland) are havens for African and other robbers of the public fund and national treasury. Most of the money stolen from Nigeria by the late General Abacha is found in British Banks. Mr Christensen argued that most observers might expect that governments of onshore states would act collectively “but, in practice, key actors, notably Switzerland, the UK and the USA, act to restrain efforts at achieving global cooperation”. We can say in passing that Madoff was not a Nigerian or a Ghanaian. And, popular Western myth notwithstanding, there is actually no particular African “lust for corruption”.
At another level, we can also praise the corrupt African leaders as opposed to the British corrupt MPs in that ours steal big and do not soil themselves with petty theft or ridiculous swindling like the latter. No decently corrupt African politician will be caught red handed inflating his food expenses or using public money to contribute 5 pounds to the church. There is a related story about a British diplomat in Addis Abeba who was told that Prime Minster Meles Zenawi is a liar and the diplomat’s retort was “oh yes but he does lie big time”. African dictators including Meles Zenawi steal big time and have shamed the British MPs who now try to find cover for their disaster by saying the money involved in their scandal was not much at all , that the British press is free to report and criticize and that the guilty have resigned……What about honor in the first place? No need to lie–corruption is as British as fish and chips and as American as apple pie. The Africans are just good students and they have, as the World Bank has recently admitted, taken it to the level of what is called quiet corruption,hard to trace apparently And, we the citizens? We do protest and we are never silent but in the end if push comes to shove we want our robbers to have some respect and to steal big so as to annoy the so called donors. After all, when two thieves quarrel the farmer may get his cow back.

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